Dear Doctor Jane,
I’ve had to come and see you again because things haven’t improved since last week. No matter how hard I try (and as you can see; I’m trying very hard), my accent just hasn’t improved. In fact, I feel I might have made it worse, because I’ve had to say a lot more lines this week and am worried that people are really starting to notice.
It doesn’t help that both my bloke and my daughter (who looks older than me), sound just like the locals, which makes me feel even more like a fish out of water than I did last week. I have made one friend though - Leanne. She's very nice, and we seem to have a lot in common.
There’s something else. I was drinking tea, but took the mug away from my mouth before I’d swallowed. Luckily the mug was empty, or the tea would have gone all over my top. Is this related to my not being able to talk like a Northerner?
Cindy – sorry – Stella
Dear Cindy – sorry – Stella,
I’m glad you mentioned the mug. I’d noticed that, and was a little concerned that it might indeed be another symptom. It’s clear from my careful analysis that you’re trying way too hard, which might indeed be making it worse, so my advice is to persevere with the Specialist I recommended last week and come back and see me again in a fortnight. I'm confident we can cure you in time.
On the bright side: your daughter really does look more like your older sister, so that’s something to cheer you up a bit I’d have thought?